There are wispies. There is Ohio. There is the mysterious and apparently alarming BAGAGWA. And, most importantly, there is CHARALS!
Merv, gloriously formally known as Mervyn Cumberland Weems, is actually a female cat living in Los Angeles with her humans, actor Chad Jamian and celebrity make-up artist Chanel Cross.
Rescued as a tiny kitten in 2017, Merv has subsequently become one of the internet's great feline personalities. What makes her particularly special is her extraordinary range of vocalisations, some of which sound remarkably like words.
Whether Merv really believes she's talking to her humans is another question entirely, but millions of people have happily entered into the joke.
And Merv has quite a vocabulary.
There's "Ohio", "Pad Thai" and, of course, the ominous BAGAGWA.
However, one word towers above all others:
CHARALS!
Who is Charals?
"Charals" is Merv's distinctive pronunciation of Charles, the gardener who works at the home of Chad and Chanel.
Charles has unwittingly become the romantic leading man in the ongoing soap opera that is Merv's life.
Merv watches him through the window, becomes tremendously excited at the sight of him and apparently calls his name. The fact that Charles frequently goes about his gardening without a shirt has also become part of the running joke.
It has reached the point where Charles isn't simply the gardener any more. Within the strange fictional universe surrounding Merv, he's Merv's great love interest.
And, inevitably, Charals has made it onto the merchandise.
Yes, there's official Merv merchandise
Merv now has her own official merchandise shop – wonderfully named Official BAGAGWA Merch! – selling products based around the phrases and characters that regular followers instantly recognise.
There are Merv T-shirts in colour and black and white, but naturally there are also Charals T-shirts, currently listed from $22. Long-sleeved versions are available too.
The Merv/Charals romance gets even better. Fans can buy CHARALS magnets, mugs, stickers, pins, pillows and hats, along with Valentine's Day designs featuring Merv and her beloved gardener.
There is even a separate Charles Secret Stash range offering, amongst other things, a Charles and Merv T-shirt.
But Merv fans will probably be equally delighted by the merchandise celebrating her wonderfully peculiar vocabulary.
"BAGAGWA" appears on mugs, magnets, stickers, pins, pillows and clothing, while "Don't Summon BAGAGWA" has become an entire merchandise theme in its own right. There's even a BAGAGWA tapestry for those who feel their home décor is currently rather too normal.
"NO OHIO!" hasn't been forgotten either, appearing across mugs, magnets and other items.
Prices are quoted in US dollars and, as products, prices and availability can change, UK Merv fans should check delivery costs and availability before ordering.
Visit Merv's official BAGAGWA merchandise shop
And there's a talking Merv!
Perhaps the ultimate piece of Merv merchandise has been the Talking Merv plush, produced by Youtooz.
Merv's own official links have promoted the nine-inch talking plush alongside the official merchandise shop and Merv vinyl stickers.
It is somehow entirely appropriate that a cat who became famous for apparently talking should eventually be transformed into a talking toy.
From abandoned kitten to merchandise empire
There's something rather lovely underneath all this silliness.
Merv began life as a vulnerable rescued kitten and has ended up bringing enormous amounts of laughter to people around the world. Chad and Chanel have spoken about receiving messages from people going through grief, illness, heartbreak and burnout who say Merv has helped make difficult days a little brighter.
That's probably why the merchandise works.
A CHARALS mug or BAGAGWA T-shirt isn't merely another piece of internet merchandise. To someone who follows Merv, it's a reference to an elaborate shared joke – one which has gradually developed its own characters, vocabulary and mythology.
It's almost like being a fan of a long-running comedy series.
Except the star is a rescued cat.
And the romantic hero is the gardener.
For readers of That's Books and More who love cats, internet oddities and unusual gifts, the Merv phenomenon is certainly worth discovering. But be warned: watch a few videos and you may soon find yourself discussing wispies, worrying about Ohio and shouting "CHARALS!" at entirely inappropriate moments.
Just whatever you do...
DON'T SUMMON BAGAGWA.
