What use is a self help book that doesn’t give you any answers?
In his new book, The 10 Questions to Ask for Success (Hay House, £10.99), Phil Parker explains that the most important discovery he has made in over two decades of working in the personal development field is this: providing solutions, advice, suggestions or answers doesn’t really help anyone.
If we are provided with the answer to a problem we don’t go through the important process of finding a solution for ourselves and so, when faced with another problem, we turn to ask for help again. Parker argues that learning how to create our own solutions allows us to “be more independent and skilled at finding and making the right decisions for ourselves”, helping us to be successful. Instead of answers we need questions!
Although not just any old questions; as Parker explains it is about: “asking the key questions, at the right time, in order to get to the solutions”. The ten questions in this book will enable you to do this and are powerful tools – drawing on the fields of personal and spiritual development, business, psychotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and even hostage-negotiation – that will help you to make great decisions in all aspects of your life.
Thousands of Parker’s clients have already used the tools in this book to help themselves or others to stop being stressed, stuck, over-worried, disempowered, unmotivated, frustrated and self-sabotaging and achieve success with issues such as weight loss, anxiety and low self esteem. You will learn how to:
• motivate yourself and others
• calmly find solutions even in the most stressful of times
• design and achieve your dreams
• ensure that your relationships work well, flourish and are fulfilling
• manage your business more effectively
• assist others on their paths away from conflict and wasted time and energy, and towards transformation and fulfillment.
The 10 Questions to Ask for Success is a wonderfully practical and clear book that will help you come up with all the right questions to ask yourself in any given situation and realise that all the answers are within you.
SEE BELOW FOR FIVE TIPS TO HELP YOU BE MORE SUCCESSFUL RIGHT NOW
Phil Parker is an internationally renowned lecturer, therapist and innovator in the field of personal development. His training as a hypnotherapist, executive coach, certified master practitioner of NLP and osteopath give him a unique ability to provide new solutions to meet the challenges and opportunities of life in the 21st century. Phil's hugely successful process for change, the Lightning Process, has already transformed and enhanced the lives, health and success of thousands of people around the world. He runs a private practice in London and is principal and director at the Phil Parker Training Institute.
‘Astonishing, swift and simple’ The Independent
The 10 Questions to Ask for Success by Phil Parker is published by Hay House on 6th February 2012, £10.99 pb, also available as an eBook.
Watch a video of Phil
Five Tips to Help You be More Successful Right Now! Extracted from The 10 Questions to Ask for Success by Phil Parker (Hay House, £10.99)
1) Success and happiness are interlinked, so set aside some time each day for five days to write a happiness checklist. What percentage of your time is spent doing things that you love to do? If it is less than 50 per cent, then you need to reassess things; if it's over 70 per cent you're doing really well!
2) What if? Use this question to reinvigorate your future. Many of us spend too much time limiting ourselves; telling ourselves things just aren't likely to work out. Even if we have ideas about how to make changes and be more successful, we will often strangle these ideas straight away. Let your dreams breathe and live a little using the ‘what if?' question to imagine a brilliant future. Ask yourself ‘if everything that I put my hand to today turned out just perfectly, what would I do today?’
3) Stop blaming. Frustration is as linked to blaming, as success is linked to being able to let go of the past. Remember: whatever happened, happened. The question is not who was right and who was wrong, but how do you want your future to be now? Ask yourself ‘who or what do I need to stop blaming to have a great future?’
4) What do I want? A key secret of success is to get really clear about what you want – but be careful you don't get sidetracked by focusing on what you don't want. The more you think about something, the more your brain focuses on making it happen. So instead of thinking about what you don’t want, use your brain as an ally and think about what you DO want.
5) Sabotage. Unfortunately, it is often ourselves that stand in the way of our own success: whether it’s self-doubt, procrastination, a lack of motivation or just not following through. If you find yourself doing any of these, there are three things you can do. Firstly, stop beating yourself up and be kind to yourself instead. Often just doing this changes what happens next, as when we treat ourselves with compassion we allow ourselves to stay calm and find solutions. Secondly, ask yourself ‘what exactly am I committed to, what’s really important here?’ Finally, ask yourself ‘how am I going to make this easy?’ Successful people see their challenges as opportunities to creatively move things forward, and that makes everything seem easier.